"I walk the boundaries and blur the lines – so others may wander into new territory."

What to do if Your Swinging Secret Gets Out!

The first thing to realise is that your secret is out and you can’t change it now. The only way to really keep that secret is to never swing in the first place. It’s inevitable that at some point, someone you’ve played with could let it slip, or you let it slip or if you enjoy the party scene that some photo of you ends up somewhere you weren’t aware of. It’s part of the package that if you’re going to do it, you run the risk of someone finding out somewhere along the line, it’s just a matter of time.

So your secret is out, now what? You have no control over who finds out from here, however, you can control how you react and what you decide to do.

Everyone is going to have their opinion about it and for most, it won’t matter what you say, it’s not going to change their minds. Some people will react differently to what you thought, many people these days accept it even if it’s not something they’d do. It’s the ones that think you are committing a major crime or who have strong negative opinions about it that most people worry about.

These people are just projecting onto you, their version of the world and the rules that they decide to live by. Ultimately it’s your life and you get to live by your own rules. If you choose to change your life and live by someone else’s rules then you are continuing to give them power over you.

As with any decision, it’s good to try this to help determine what’s right for you. Imagine being at the end of your life and looking back at this time. If you choose to do what they want over what you want, what regrets might you have? What will you have missed out on and are you ok with that? If you choose to do what YOU want to do, what consequences could there be and could you live with that?

You will always come across narrow-minded people who want everyone to fit inside their box; conform to their rules and live life the way they see fit and they are going to get their knickers in a bunch if someone they love is doing something that they deem as “wrong”… You can’t change them, you can only change what you do in relation to them.

I’ve spoken to people who distance themselves from people like this, even if they are family. They move to another city where they can enjoy the lifestyle but keep regular contact via phone or email but they at a distance, which is easier to manage. Others do the opposite and only enjoy the lifestyle when they go on trips, then come home and fit back in the box again.

Some people choose to give up the lifestyle because the consequences of not giving it up can feel like more pain and trouble than it’s worth. This is a choice they make and at the end of the day, they have to be happy with the choice and why they made it.

Time heals many things and while the initial reaction from them might be off the wall negative, it won’t be the focus for the rest of your life (for 99.9% of people anyway). My personal suggestion is to do whatever is right for YOU and then find a way to manage others from there. It is YOUR life and you only have one to live and as long as you are happy with whatever choice you make, good on you!