Jealousy is often talked about in this lifestyle when it comes to the couple and their relationship with each other, they can’t be jealous or possessive with their partner in order to swing and enjoy the fun, but the jealousy that’s not really talked about where it’s the playmate/s that get jealous or possessive. Yes, it’s true!!
I’ve seen it a few times now where playmates, be it a single person or another couple, get jealous or possessive when their favourite toys are off playing with someone new or, if they are in a group situation they get upset because the person they want to play with is engaged in fun with someone else.
Sometimes it’s the “I/we met them first” kind of deal, and sometimes it’s just “but I/we really want to play with them!” This is not a jealousy that I ever expected to come across in this lifestyle but I’ve seen it, and experienced it in various forms.
I have to admit to wanting some playmates to myself for a bit or seeing them with someone and wishing they were with me, not to the point where I got upset or it ruined my night in anyway though. We’ve been on the receiving end of varying degrees of jealousy and I have to admit that it’s a real turn off. Are we paying attention? A real turn off!
I’ve noticed that those that get upset or jealous are focussing on what they are “missing out” on, or feel like someone else is getting that they’re not and it’s totally the wrong attitude to have here. It’s like the glass being half empty or half full. If you focus on what you think you’re not getting you’ll always find something and that will bring you down, then you bring others down.
The best way to be is grateful for whatever experience happens; see it as a bonus if you get to have some hot raunchy times with someone in particular, and if you can go into it with an attitude like that, you’ll always be pleasantly surprised by what you get to enjoy in the moment. It’s the uncomplicated way to be, it’s also an attractive way to be.
The other situation where jealousy or possessiveness has reared its ugly head is when single guys get precious about the couple and their time. One guy we met connected with a great couple and they swapped numbers to try and catch up at a later time. The couple were both busy people and didn’t return his messages as quick as he would have liked, and he was getting upset because he thought maybe they didn’t like him or that they were stuffing him around and spending time with other people, which wasn’t the case.
The thing for single people to remember when engaging with couples is that the couple already have someone in their life; they only have one person they have to answer to and keep happy, everyone else is just an extension of their toy box.
In this lifestyle, no matter who you are, you can’t get precious when it comes to your play mates; sometimes they are interested in you and sometimes they are not, just move on. Sometimes people call or reply quickly and sometimes they don’t. Just remember it’s not always about you, they are more than likely just busy with their own lives. I know we get less responsive when we get busy, and so do many other couples especially if they have children.
So go in with the intention of enjoying whatever experience eventuates no matter what it happens to be. Be easy-going and grateful for the people you get to meet and play with and that in itself will make you more attractive to potential playmates. There is no room for jealousy in this lifestyle no matter who you are, so if you can’t get past it, time to get some professional help and then come back to the playground 😀
Here’s to your relationship and sexual evolution!
Chantelle is a published author and expert relationship coach specialsing in swinging, open relationships and helping people safely explore the open world of sex and sexuality in a way that’s fun and entertaining.
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