Creating rock-solid, freedom-based relationships where monogamy is optional…

Who Is Rach Wilson?

Chantelle Austin International's Specialist Coach & Mentor in Non-Monogamy and Open Relationships Internationally

This One Time, At Sex Camp… (Day 1)

I just had to say it!

So I have just attended the first official “Sex Camp” and to say it was mind-blowing (ok more than just mind-blowing), phenomenal, inspiring, educational and loving would be an understatement!!!

Before I get to the mind-blowing part though, let me just share my thoughts as I was going into this, as I’m sure many could relate…

So I know I’m going to be locked in at a campsite and the main food is vegetarian.  I’m thinking: “I’m going to be surrounded by a bunch of hippies!”  I was hoping I wasn’t going to be singing Kumbaya, sitting with my legs spread and looking at my vagina in a mirror, while holding hands with a strange woman who is encouraging me to embrace my womanhood… or something.  Ok, so that was a bit extreme but I have a vivid imagination.

Breathe… Relax, it wasn’t like that at all… Hippies are actually pretty cool, who knew? 😉

Day 1 – We arrive late… Oops!  A big no no but thankfully we weren’t the last ones to arrive and we were there in plenty of time for the Opening Ceremony.  It was a long drive from the city when you add in a few wrong turns, arrgghhh!

We settle ourselves into the big main tent and the Opening Ceremony begins.

First off; logistics. Done!  Next we go into Agreement Frames.  We all agreed to keep what happens, and with who, at Sex Camp confidential, and no photos or video without expressed permission (of course).  No touching without permission and we agreed to be open and honest, and say no if we did not want what was being offered.  This turned out to be an extremely important part of making the environment safe for people to express who they were, try new things and put themselves out there into different spaces.

Everyone agreed to everything except one man; he said he could not agree to being on time to the workshops because he needed to follow his heart, and if another human being or animal needed him, he would have to respect that… Hmm… This didn’t help my original “being surrounded by hippies” apprehension, but ok… Each to their own, right?  I think they got him to agree that if the sign said “do not disturb”, he would respect it and not enter; there were sighs of relief when he agreed!  A quick lesson in embracing all types I think.

The last thing we did was set an intention; I decided during the weekend I was going to be open to new experiences, make connections with awesome people (ok, I may have thought about connecting with an awesome playmate or two; I am human), but most of all, to open up more sexually so I could be an even more confident, sexually charged women when I got home (hubby yells “YEEHA” upon hearing that).  I also decided I would go intuitively as much as possible and allow myself to be guided to the workshops which might fulfill my intention.

Opening ceremony concluded and into the first workshop!

I wasn’t sure which one the workshops to go to since they both sounded awesome.  So in order to choose, I did what any woman would do when they are at Sex Camp; I asked a gorgeous man what he would suggest.   Unfortunately he had done both and liked both, but he said one was more physical (which I thought might tip me over the edge into pouncing on someone) and the other was deeper and more intellectual; working with heart and energy.  Either way, I was going to be connecting with new people and I was sure anyone who could sense energy was going to feel how horny I already was!

So I go to the Yoga of Intimacy workshop rather than the cuddle party.  I wanted something deeper and working with energy appealed to me (trusting my intuition).

Immediately I seemed to connect with a gorgeous younger man as we entered the room and decided to share the heater (it was so damn cold!)  Ridiculously on edge; I was trying hard not to imagine the two of us stripping each other bare in a passionate frenzy *breathes* as we were staring in each others eyes, having been instructed to do so to get an intuitive sense of who the other person was.

And so the workshop began!

Our fabulous facilitators were Arven and Kimberly. Initially we were educated about our intuitive sense, and the importance of paying attention to it, because it gives us so much more information about our world when we focus on it.

Arven asked us to line up; the men and women at different ends of the room, and asked us to form a line facing the other sex, then walk sloooooowwwwwly towards them until we were only a few inches away from each other.

Now I don’t have an issue with men, clearly, but energetically I found the wall of men bearing down on me a little intimidating.  That said, I think a wall of women or a mix would have been the same.  I was at the front of the wall of women; you know me, I like to be front and centre at the best of times, now was no different!  When I got within inches of the wall of men, we were instructed to just feel the energy and notice what was going on.

For me I noticed the energy changed from being a wall of energy to mixing with the front of the lines, doing like a circular motion; it was much less intimidating.  After a little while, Arven instructed us to walk through each other to the other side, and see what that felt like.   Well I didn’t feel like pouncing on anyone, so I was glad I came to this workshop to just simmer down a tad…

The next exercise Arven got the men to spread out around the room, and if they didn’t want to be touched, they just had to put their hand on their chest but their eyes remained closed for the duration.  Hmmm, I was curious as to where our facilitator was going with this; I had only just simmered down!

We were instructed to wander around the room and stop next to the different men and just sense whom we felt drawn to, or not; how they felt energetically, and to explore what we felt drawn to do to them (within reason… I think!)

The fact they had their eyes close automatically gave me an increased sense of freedom to do what I wanted, although I was still feeling a little on the timid side being in a room full of strangers.  I didn’t have any of my crew or my husband, so was missing my safety nets.

Some women got down on all fours and slinked around the legs of the men like purring cats… I was thinking “ok… not sure I’m that free loving just yet but something to aspire to”.  I did find myself noticing who I was drawn to and sensing the energy of each man; some felt very masculine and others a bit more precious or soft.

I was drawn to the gorgeous young man I connected with in the first exercise.  I stood right behind him, inches away from his back and just found myself getting in sync with his breathing… I put my hand on the middle of his back and closed my eyes for a moment… Mmmm, he felt sensual and open… I liked that.  Interesting though, I found when a bunch of other women started to surround him; I walked away and looked for who else I might be drawn to.  The coach in me was asking “so where else in life do I do that?!?” Damn coach brain; valid point though.

I wandered around and just went intuitively to another man on the other side of the room, older than me and not exactly sexy in looks but there was something about him I was drawn to.  He felt very masculine, peaceful, playful, sensual and very open and loving.  I was starting to wonder if I was just making this all up but one thing I have learned is to just go with it!  I found myself once again standing behind him but close; right inside his space.

I realised I do that often, I stand back while I get a feel for people or a place before I step into the middle, if at all.  People often think I’m the first in the limelight, or that I am completely comfortable in front of anyone but that’s not the case.  I have to warm up to people and situations, although the period of time is considerably shorter if I’ve had a few Jack and Dry’s!  This event was strictly a no drugs or alcohol event so I was all the more vulnerable… just what I needed!

Once I started to get a little more game I stood behind him and very slowly, and sensually, ran my hands down his arms from his shoulders to his hands and back up again… I stood so close he could feel my breath on his neck… Hmmm, so much for the simmer!  He responded positively to my touch and the feeling of me being so close to him.  It gave me a sense of control and empowerment to be the one igniting passion or arousal in others… yeah, I get a small kick out of it 🙂

I was just starting to get even more game when it was time to stop!  Damn!!

Next we had to do some work around getting permission for touch and the practice of saying no… We paired up and the men were instructed to sense what they would like to do to us, and then ask if they could.  I’m standing in front of a guy whom I am not attracted to and thinking “fuck! I hope he just wants to hold hands!”  Thankfully he was just interested in a hug and I had the choice to say yes or no.  I said yes and then thought: “why did I do that?” and the answer was because I don’t like making people feel bad.  D’oh, have to get over that!

After each question, and both sides having the opportunity to ask and choose to say yes, we were forced to say “no” and straight away go to the next person.  Can I just say, being given permission to say no without having to justify, explain or dampen it, was so empowering!  I decided to take it on in the future (thank you Sex Camp)!

At the end of the workshop we got some free flow time to wander in amongst each other and just feel the energy, touch with permission and do what felt right… there were lots of hugs, intense stares, sensual touches and smiles.  I felt this workshop really got me grounded and centered, as well as opening me up for the connections I would make and being open to new information.  Ahhhhh, what a way to start a weekend.

It was nearly midnight by the time we concluded, got our stuff to the dorms and started to wind down… well, in theory.  I had my presentation to do the next morning and there were too many people snoring in my dorm room so I couldn’t sleep… Instead I enjoyed time out in front of the open fire talking to a Dominatrix and a guy who was going to teach Sensual Rope Play!  I love my life 🙂

2am I finally crashed out and day 1 was done.  I still had 2 whole days to go and fell asleep wondering what other insights I would get, gems I would learn and people I would want to drag to my bunk and connect with on ALL levels 😉


For more information about Sex Camp; when the next one is and how to keep in the loop for early bird pricing, go to, and hopefully I’ll see you at the next one!

(Check out Arven and Kimberly’s workshops which are like this and more –

Click here for the next Sex Camp post

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