"I walk the boundaries and blur the lines – so others may wander into new territory."

Swinging – The Good, the Bad and the Utterly Fabulous

Introducing swinging to the relationship can have various effects, some good, some not so good and some that are unexpectedly awesome. We’ve seen some and experienced others, and while every relationship is different, there are a few outcomes that tend to be experienced more than the others.

1. The good

More sex, more desire for sex and more fun having sex with new people. It really does super charge your sex life and how can it not when you’re talking about the things you want to do when you have an extra in the bedroom, you’re reminiscing about the night before or chatting to new sexy people who are stimulating your imagination.

Another good thing is that your bedroom repertoire is likely to be expanded as you play with new people. Someone will do something slightly different than your partner does and when you share what it was and how hot it got you; they will incorporate that in your sex life making the whole swinging thing just one big R & D (Research and Development) adventure! It’s a great way to becoming a better lover.

2. The bad

If there are any cracks or small issues in your relationship then once you start swinging, they will be magnified. For instance, if there are small insecurity or jealousy issues then once you add a third (and/or fourth) person to the mix, they will become very big, very quick and can do more damage than good.

Any other areas of your relationship where you haven’t got the right foundations or skills, you will find a challenge once you start. Communication is a particularly good example, if you can’t talk and share your thoughts before swinging, you won’t talk or share them when you start and it’s a very vulnerable period in your relationship. So it’s extra important that you have an effective communication strategy between you.

The good news is that if you find issues or skills you need to work on first, you can take a break, go work on your relationship and then come back. There will always be plenty of sexy people ready and waiting to meet and play with you when you get back. And besides, when you have no issues, you’re so much more fun to play with!

3. The utterly fabulous

Having new friends you could both hang out with and also have sex with; people who were like minded, who you can flirt with and not have to worry about someone getting upset. It’s great having people who don’t judge you and are just as naughty as you are.

While the extra sex and desire to have sex was a great plus, during the whole transition when we were talking about new feelings, sharing our new desires, discussing the new shared experiences we had, what we liked, what we didn’t and how we felt about it all; brought us so much closer together and made our bond stronger than we ever thought possible.

We already thought we had the best relationship in the world, so when it enhanced it 10 fold we were stunned to say the least. It made us question why the hell other couples weren’t looking at this as an option!

We’ve met couples who have experienced all or some of these, and those that really have their relationship on the right track have also experienced the utterly fabulous. Being a life coach and having created such a phenomenal relationship, I’ve noticed what works and what doesn’t which is what prompted the book – The Ultimate Swingers Guide. I wanted other couples to go through the transition to number 3 as easily as we did and avoid the pitfalls that some couples had fallen into.

So there you have it, some of the good, the bad and the utterly fabulous. We’ve enjoyed the trip and so have many other couples… Shall we see you out and about in the swinging scene?


I appreciate for everything

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Awesome article and very true, coming from another couple in the Lifestyle…