Creating rock-solid, freedom-based relationships where monogamy is optional…

Who Is Rach Wilson?

Chantelle Austin International's Specialist Coach & Mentor in Non-Monogamy and Open Relationships Internationally

So Now I Have a Girlfriend… OMG!

This was not something I ever thought I would want or do, so I’m a little surprised at myself and oh, have turned into a giddy teen as a result. Ug. I can only guess it’s because it’s so new, the whole having a girlfriend thing. It’s like when I first started dating the opposite sex, there was some giddiness involved then but after 20 odd years, I’m more than comfortable with guys. Now I’m think back to square one because it’s with the same sex (what tha???)… I figure it’s a good excuse so I’m sticking to it!

She’s gorgeous (of course) and we’ve known each other for over a year (so I haven’t rushed in lol), but I found out she’s had more feelings for me than I realised for a while now. [protected] Wanting to spend more and more time with me but stopping herself because she wasn’t sure how I felt. Well it appears now I’ve caught up! Sometimes there is an instant connection for one, but others it takes a while to grow, and it was certainly the case with me. I can’t be sure if she’d said something earlier that it would have helped me get to this point faster or not, we’ll never know but it’s clear that I’m into her now! … Really into her…

The problem is I get shy when I’m around her; I can’t stop smiling and I’m unsure of what to do or say (her and hubby think my giddiness is adorable, I just find it embarrassing!) I’m sure others go through this when they realise there’s more than just a physical attraction to the same sex. Don’t they? Please say I’m not alone on this one! And how do I get passed it? Oh please enlighten me!

Something funny hit me the other day: I’ve been saying for a while that my Mr Wonderful was more bi than I because he was more into boys than I was into girls! Now he argues that I’m more bi than he is, purely because I actually have a girlfriend, but I know he’d have a boyfriend in a heartbeat if that special man came along, or a certain crush became single again lol, so I guess we are as bi as each other!

When I asked her to be my girlfriend, she replied that she’d considered me her girlfriend for a while now (feeling special!), and when I told Mr Wonderful that I officially had a girlfriend, he asked “what does that mean?”… to he honest, I’m not entirely sure! We haven’t really had a conversation around that but it seems it’s a way of us identifying each other as more than just a playmate, because we are.

Oh god, I just want to tell the world about her; to take her with us to my family events or to go with her to hers, to go out on dates and holidays together (taking the men and kids for most of them lol)… Unfortunately others won’t cope well with it; it’s the society we live in, so for now we get to enjoy the time we have when we can, and we’ll see how this all progresses. It is still very new… I guess I can’t be too quick to out ourselves in case it’s just temporary… that said, for me it doesn’t feel like a temporary thing and while I don’t have a crystal ball, I just know she will be a part of my life for quite some time, but in what capacity remains to be seen.

So this is a new dynamic for us, and her. She has a husband too which is perfect because for both of us, our husbands are number one… we now just have a number 2 in each other 🙂 Both husbands have given us the freedom to spend time alone together and we often catch up as a family (they have a child too), to do vanilla stuff like BBQ’s and hanging out which is really nice. I just need more time in my weekends!!!

Watch this space as I explore this new aspect of myself, of relationships and a new dynamic for my life in general! I’m excited and nervous if the truth be told… So if you have any advice for me, I’m all ears, hit me with it!!

*happy dance* I have a girlfriend… hehe[/protected]

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