Creating rock-solid, freedom-based relationships where monogamy is optional…

Who Is Rach Wilson?

Chantelle Austin International's Specialist Coach & Mentor in Non-Monogamy and Open Relationships Internationally

Sex Camp: Cuddle Party!

(Note:  Image was used in an article about the Cuddle Party for The Age and was not taken by me or at Sex Camp, so the people in the photo were not Sex Camp attendees.)

Ahhhh the familiar beginning of Sex Camp… An opening ceremony full of commitments to respecting other people, asking permission before any kind of intimate interaction, being allowed to say no without needing to explain or justify, being open-minded and open hearted for the duration of the 2.5 days we were to be locked away from the rest of the world, exploring various aspects of sex, sexuality and self. Oh yeah… The perfect environment for some serious exploration and experimentation on my side!

This time I wasn’t coming into Sex Camp knowing no one, as I again went on my own. I was greeted by friends I made last year when we all popped our Sex Camp cherries, (as Sex Camp popped its own), no longer were we virgins here but returning to a familiar space of growth and honesty, plus stimulation on so many delicious levels.

I decided my intention for the weekend was to explore and experience things I hadn’t done before, or things that would stretch me outside of my comfort zone, so my first stop… Maruś (pronounced mah’roosh) CUDDLE PARTY!

I wandered down to the building it was to be held in, with instructions to bring pillows so it was more comfortable… I hadn’t been to Cuddle Party before and this was Sex Camp after all, so I wasn’t entirely sure how mild or wild it was going to get. After last year, I realised there were no limits to what can be experienced and explored in this space, so I went in with complete openness to take it to whatever level I could… which may have been a tad on the too sexy side… Ooops!

The first part of the workshop was focused on setting the tone and boundaries before the real cuddling could begin. Maruś was very specific about the intention being purely about touch and connection without it being sexual, and collectively we clearly defined the difference. Just in case you weren’t sure, grinding = sexual, kissing = could be sexual so was off the menu, and touching of genitals or breasts = sexual and also not on the menu.

Making the declaration of no sexual related touching and having a unanimous agreement from all was perfect, it took the pressure off everyone in the room who was worried about others having expectations beyond a cuddle. I, myself, love having no expectations and being able to just enjoy the moment for what it is.

Apparently all we need is 6 cuddles/hugs a day to fill our internal love cups, so Maruś had us all commit to making sure we got at least 6 hugs a day… My first thought was “I’m at Sex Camp… I’m pretty sure I’m going to get more than 6 of a few things” lol.

Once we got through the intentions, boundaries and general information part, it was time to pick a side of the room and get into some cuddle action!
Ahhh finally, action!

One side of the room was for people who were perhaps a little shy, new to the experience of Cuddle Party and Sex Camp and preferred to observe and take their time before jumping fully clothed into a pile of cuddly, touchy-feely people.

Obviously, I wasn’t on that side of the room…

I was on the other side, on my hands and knees (insert suggestive comments here) shoulder to shoulder with 2 very sexy men. Oh yeah, it sucks to be me!
We were arranged in a spiral, all on our hands and knees, and once everyone was in place, we had to sway in one direction, then the other. I found I just had to go with the movement; if I tried to direct the movement, I nearly lost my balance. I just had to let go and trust the people around me as we all moved fluidly together, amongst a fair amount of giggling and laughter I might add.
It wasn’t long before we all swayed too far in one direction (as was supposed to happen) and like domino’s; we all fell over leaving a pile of people laying on each other with various body parts touching.

There was a little bit of re-adjustment initially, just to get a little more comfortable; finding some comfortable torso’s to lay ones head on was priority and how convenient, I had one right next to me (thank you kind sir)!
Then the massaging and sensual touching started and it became a mass of people who were respectfully caressing, touching with permission and gently massaging body parts. How nice it was to feel so much love through touch without there being a sexual intention, or any expectations for it ending in anything sexual either. Maruś had created a very safe space for us to get to know each other and to get a whole lot of cuddles for the sake of cuddling!

I think an added bonus of the Cuddle Party, over and above getting our human need of touch fulfilled, is potentially increasing sexual intimacy (post-Cuddle Party of course) for some couples because the Cuddle Party being non-sexual and with no expectations for anything sexual, takes the pressure off touch having to lead to sex. Once a couple re-establishes a feeling of connection and sensuality between them with Cuddle Party rules, a desire for sexual intimacy may be sparked again. No rush though, let it evolve naturally and once you get home because, as Maruś states in the opening of the Cuddle Party; it’s not the place for a little bit of bump and grind.

I’d highly recommend a Cuddle Party for people who don’t get enough touch or affection, and for couples who need to rediscover sensuality and/or a deeper connection in their relationships.

2 hours passed and Maruś announced with a closing circle that the Cuddle Party was “officially” over and we were free to safely explore the remaining weekend with whatever we felt the desire to do in our own spaces, knowing we all had the communication and boundary skills to resort to.

Check out Maruś in the media and on the Cuddle Party Website to find out more (links below) and to go to your own Cuddle Party, which, if you haven’t worked it out by now, is NON-SEXUAL.

Note:  Image was used in the article about the Cuddle Party for The Age and was not taken by me or at Sex Camp, so the people in the photo were not Sex Camp attendees.

Article in the Age:
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For more information about Sex Camp and perhaps attending the next one yourself – check  it out here:

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