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How do you know when it's "love"?

Chantelle — 9 November 2008 – 3:38pm

This going to sound so cliche but you just know! For me, if you have to ask “is this love?” then it’s not, well at least not yet as it can certainly grow into it!

I’ve been married twice and the first time I thought I was in love but it wasn’t until Mr Wonderful came along that I realised what true love is! This is normally how you work it out, you have someone else as a benchmark.

Here are some ways to tell if it’s really love, keeping in mind that this is just my opinion:

1. Their happiness is very important to you to the point where if they were happier being with someone else, you’d let them go (a hard one for most to swallow)
2. You encourage them to go for the things they want and support them in their goals
3. You have a feeling of complete and utter gratitude for having them in your life
4. The depth of feeling you have for them can sometimes give you “happy tears”
5. You accept them as they are; you don’t try to mold them into something you want them to be…
6. You give them the choice and freedom to be with you; you don’t try to control them or hold them back

Notice how most of those are “them” focussed? Not what you get out of it… Well, except for happy tears and that unbelieveably grateful feeling!!! I believe that’s the difference, or at least one of the major ones. It’s really love when it’s not all about you. This not to say you need to be a martyr and sacrifice everything you want and need but there is a balance. If they truly love you they’ll do the same and together you’ll find ways to achieve your individual goals as well as the ones you have for both of you. It’s all collaboration!!!

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