You know what’s interesting? The amount of women who play bi… I myself did that in the beginning and it was because the reaction I got was too good not to partake! Almost a power trip in itself. Picture it; a crowded dance floor, an unequal amount of women to men, 2 women in the middle dancing suggestively together… where is the attention? On the 2 women! Who has the power in that moment? The 2 women! And that’s a fun place to be !
How did I know I wasn’t bi? Because it didn’t do anything for me; I didn’t look at a woman and go “damn she’s fine! I wouldn’t mind a piece of that!” In the back of my head I wished I was though, isn’t that interesting. I’ll have to explore why that is at some point…
So for the beginning it was a bit of an act, and I felt like it was always going to feel a bit weird to me kissing and playing with women… until this one day, in band camp… kidding! There was this one girl, a friend of mine whom I hadn’t really had a chance to get to know until we were away together. We had some quality time chatting about personal stuff (relationships and men!!!) and then on the last night (party night!), we got a bit drunk (as you do) we were talking, hugging each other and then it struck me that I REALLY liked her… and not just in a friendship way. I wanted to hold her and kiss her and play with her… now where the hell did that come from? This was a whole new feeling for me and wasn’t quite sure how to handle it since I knew she was straight! Yikes! You’d think that I could have at least felt that way about a woman who was bi! Damn it!
Well it completely threw me, since when did I have feelings for girls?!?! Well, it seems that it doesn’t happen with every girl! I played with other women after that when we had couples over or in a group situation, but I didn’t find that same connection, thought maybe it was a one off… until… this one weekend we were out and I ran into a girl I hadn’t seen in ages and in a club where she was all dressed for the occasion, she looked damn hot! I couldn’t take my eyes off her! Number 2! But I don’t think she was interested in me, even though she told me she “thinks” she’s gay! Arrggghhh… 2 gorgeous women that I actually wanted to play with and couldn’t!
Well, there is always a happy ending isn’t there? lol! This weekend we were invited to a party.. you know, one of those kinds of parties, 14 people (6 couples and 2 single guys)… this couple arrived after us when we were all sitting around chatting, drinking, stripping thanks to a good old game of spin the bottle… When she took her jacket off I was gobsmacked at how gorgeous she was, with the most awesome body which was enhanced by the tiny outfit she had on her. I looked straight at our single playmate, him and I had the same look on our face – “Goddamn! She is HOT!”
At that point I was just admiring her gorgeousness, but as the night went on and I got to play with her I really started to enjoy it! I wanted to play with her and do all the things bi/gay girls would do together… again, surprised by how I felt but loved it all the same, and the best part was that she wanted to play with me too! Yeeha!
So my conclusion is… it’s just a matter of finding someone you click with on that level to explore that side of yourself. I pushed it by doing it anyway, and that was fun, but not as much fun as exploring it with someone you connect and feel comfortable with, it makes all the difference. Oh, and hubby has found that special someone too… now being a bi couple, that opens up some doors and options! Bring on the fun!
Here’s to your sexual evolution!
7:25 pm on April 25, 2012
This is such a beautiful article… having been through this experience first to learn to love who I was as a bisexual male…I can only wish more couples do it!
… At the very least gives more people out there to explore with ! 😉