“I walk the boundaries and blur the lines – so others may wander into new territory.”

Dickhead Drama


Ok, so I know it’s tough being a single guy in the scene, trying to be lucky enough to get invited into the bed of a swinging wife or single gal, but there is definitely a right way and a seriously wrong way to do this.

This story is about a guy who is a professional at the wrong way!

So there’s this guy, and as much as I’d LOOOOOOVE to name names here it goes against my professional principles to publicly oust this dickhead (he may as well be known as “dickhead” for the duration of this rant!). What bugs me is that it makes it even more difficult for the nice guys who are genuine and worth meeting because guys like this dickhead are such dickheads! And yes, that is my professional opinion!

He meets up with one of our awesome chocolate friends and enjoys a nice night with her while her husband is enjoying a nice night with another gal. After the fact he is then persistent and pushy in asking when they can “catch up” again. Even when he’s told “no I can’t, I have the kids” or “I’ve got work”, he persists saying things like “oh go on, not even for just an hour?” or “I’ll make it worth your while” and “you won’t regret it” *ug*. He has no regard for the agreement between her and her husband and is just as persistent in trying to “catch up” while her husband is away… Very bad form!

Eventually she told him to “fuck off!”… Good form! It seems he actually paid attention to this not-so-subtle hint… Eventually!

Anyway, about the same time this happens he starts friending a bunch of her friends on Facebook (me included) and what we realised later was he was using the same approach with most of us. He would send a friend request and a message starting with “I was looking for my friend (with the same name as ours) and I came across you. You look interesting…” blah blah blah and eventually asks to be friends and get to know each other. I received it and since I get lots of friend requests with no attached intro messages, I thought why not?! I am always up for getting to know someone new (doing so has enabled me to meet some great people, just apparently not in this case).

We have a special “chocolate group” for just our swinging friends where we chat and support each other or invite each other to parties etc. When he started friending everyone, and because he was on my “friend” list, they were asking me who he was.  This is when we started to find out what kind of guy he really was as we all started chatting and working out his various games.

Turns out he had also been using my status and tags to say things like “I saw you at (insert bar or club we were at here)”, which he got from photo’s I’d tagged us in together. WTF? As if! We know he wasn’t there… DICKHEAD!

I did initially have a quick meeting with him a few months ago, only after I convinced him I don’t play with anyone or invite them to anything without a vanilla meet and greet first up. I hate the pressure of them thinking we’re going to play straight after we do coffee… arrgghhh. If I want to pin someone against a wall, surely it’s better that it’s a surprise! Yeah?  Plus, I don’t want to be locked into playtime if I think the guy is a real dickhead! I am so glad I have this rule…

During our brief meeting he was kind of quiet, hard to converse with but seemed generally nice. Something was a little off though and I couldn’t put my finger on it. He had come across a little persistent in the first few messages so when we met, I made a point to let him know that pushy and over keen is a complete turn off and doesn’t get guys anywhere… I was hoping that would be enough to let him know how to play the game to get the booty!

Nope, not a chance… He’ll tell you what he thinks you want to hear just to get you into bed. He matches your stories to a story, or person, he knows so he has something in common with you – a rapport building technique… Manipulative dickhead!   And then he proceeds to text you regularly to “catch up” that day/hour/moment, or try to get you to commit to a future date!  Did I mention “persistent”?  Although why he prey’s on married women is beyond me! Oh no wait, he did answer that question, because “girlfriends are too much hard work”. WTF? Issues… this guy has serious issues.

Not only was he very persistent and pushy to “catch up” or give you a massage because he was “in the area now”, he lied about his identity! He denied his name was (oops, nearly said his name) when my friend asked because she was sure it was him from his photo but wasn’t sure, only to find out later it was him.

Funny thing is that we caught him out! The number he gave my friend as one name, was the same number I had him under as his Facebook name… so I messaged him telling him to leave my friends and me alone. He comes back with “who is this?” and even after I explained who I was, he says “No idea how you got this number..” Idiot… dickhead… He gave it to me but had also been messaging me from his other phone!

After a few more denials and insults, I let him know he’s full of it and we’d caught him out. To which he replies “??Wow. Weirdo. Clearly I don’t have your number. Another wannabe!” I’m still trying to work out what it is that I am a wannabe of lol. If anyone has an answer to that, please let me know LOL! Dickhead…

We did a Google search on his number (yes you can do that) and it turns out his first name is correct on Facebook but his surname isn’t. So between us we’ve got 4 different names for him! Watch out ladies, he’s not good at accepting a “no” and if you’re part of a couple, he’s not good at respecting the relationship or your boundaries, he’ll keep pushing them just to get his end in.

Plus he’s seriously bordering on stalking by watching our status’s on Facebook to see where we’re going (to ask if he can come to) or tell us he was there… *shudders*

So he’s the first single guy we’ve blacklisted. All of the chocolate group are one by one blocking him from Facebook and Blender. It’s quite sad really. If he wasn’t so persistent and shifty in the way he approached us, he could have been invited into the chocolate group and enjoyed many a party with threesomes and foursomes and moresomes a plenty.

To all the nice and genuine single guys out there who are reading this, please follow this as an example of what NOT to do… And perhaps follow up with reading “A Single Man’s Guide to Snagging and Shagging a Couple” which this DICKHEAD clearly didn’t read or pay attention to!


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