There are a thousand reasons why you could be bored or less than enthusiastic about getting involved in some bedroom antics at the moment, but don’t worry, there are a number of ways to reignite that spark to get things going again, or at the very least to make them more interesting for the both of you!

1. Have new sexy conversations!

I come across so many people that have never shared all their fantasies with their partner. Sometimes it is an uncomfortable conversation to have at first because you don’t know how they are going to react, but often people find out that their partner has similar fantasies and it sparks a whole new life in the bedroom.

The beauty of it is that you don’t even have to fulfill those fantasies, sometimes just using them as imagery is enough; imagine your partner whispering in your ear, talking you through the hottest fantasy you’ve ever imagined… mmmm. Often they’ll add things you hadn’t thought of… or is that just my Mr Wonderful that does that… nahhhh, lost of people get creative ?

Plus the added bonus of sharing deeply personal information with each other is the increased bond it builds between you. When you share your true thoughts and feelings with someone; when you are vulnerable for that moment and it’s reciprocated with equal truth and vulnerability, you grow closer as a couple.

The one thing to remember here is to listen to their fantasies and not to judge them; be open to what they are. Some of them won’t work for you and that’s fine, you’re just sharing words ? How you handle this can determine how your relationship evolves, ask questions to get more detail, be interested in what the fantasy is, be the way you want them to be with you when you share your fantasy!

2. Do something different!

If you always have sex in the bedroom, pick somewhere else in the house! Write a list of the places you’d like to have sex and get creative as to how you can pull some of those off too. You may want to have the thrill of sex in a night club, there are certainly clubs where that is ok and others you’ll likely get thrown out for… but then that thrill might be what makes it so exciting for you!

Some of those fantasies you both talked about you may want to do, so do them! If they involve adding other people (swinging) or engaging in dressing up in leather or whatever, there are clubs you can go to to do that and you don’t have to engage in it with other people if you don’t want to, you can go to enjoy something as a couple and be turned on by the visual stimulus going on around you.

Add some new toys! Try a toy you’ve never used before and see what wonderful things you can find to do with it. Oh and I dare you to try using it on both of you 😛 Trust me, those vibrators and bullets are just as much fun used on guys as they are on girls (and no, it doesn’t make him gay or mean that your partner isn’t satisfying you – it only enhances your sexual experience).

New porn! New positions! Get the Kama Sutra for ideas or just Google them in the comfort of your own home. New outfits! Ladies, get some sexy new lingerie and have sex while you are still wearing it! Or get a role-playing outfit you’ve never tried before. Do something that’s a little outside your comfort zone – live a little more!

There is so much you can do in your sex life as a couple, so don’t limit yourself to a handful of positions, the same room and same routine… routines are killers in the bedroom so break the monotony and do something different, even if you start with something small, just aim to do one thing different every week at the very least ? Explore with each other!

3. Get a make over!

I’m serious, you feel far more up for a good night of sex when you feel good about how you look! A fresh hair cut, some new clothes that flatter your body no matter what shape you are, some make up (for the girls, although for the guys too if that’s their thing!). Put on some nice perfume or cologne and head out for a night!

Spend some time doing what makes you feel good about you. You can do simple things or more elaborate ones but either way it doesn’t matter, it only matters how you feel about you by doing it. Be sure to tell your partner how gorgeous and sexy they are too; make them feel good by how you react and act with them!

This is all very simple stuff but I think sometimes we just get caught up in life, especially if we’re parents. If you feel like you need some extra spark then make it your mission to find new ways to do that. It all comes back to you and the effort you put in. I promise if you do that, your sex life and your relationship will thank you… oh and it might put a bit of a spring back in your step when you’re out the world in general.

If you are having more than just a general routine issue in your sex life or want a more personal solution for your situation then take advantage of a free 30-minute consultation. Register here and we’ll do everything we can to get your sex life and relationship back on track!

Here’s to your sexual and relationship evolution!